Sure, age gap dating is becoming more of a thing, but there are always those who will do double-takes at dinner or family members who say nothing but raise their eyebrows when they hear about your new younger boo.
The heart desires what the heart wants, and sometimes that means dating someone who is of younger age. If you haven’t learned anything from OTP Priyanka Chopra Jonas and Nick Jonas, and Kate Beckinsale’s love with Pete Davidson, you need to know age doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker or a red flag and. It’s 2021, after all.
But at the end of the day, whoever you date and why he or she is your decision. To be realistic, it’s tricky enough to find someone with who you want to spend time. Clueless when it comes to modern dating? Everyone is—but you don’t have to be shy or ashamed.
So if you’re liking a guy or gal who graduated college years after you (age gap dating), here’s what you do need to know before date younger
1.You need clarity on what you’re looking for.
First things first: What do you want from this relationship?
Do you just want to date around? Or just hook up and have fun, that’s fantastic. Maybe you want to settle down and have children with your next partner, that’s great, too. Just make your intentions clear before jumping into the age gap dating.
This also means that you must have clarity on what you need from a relationship. Maybe you need to open up emotionally and express yourself, a partner you vibe with sexually, or maybe you want a good travel buddy (or both).
Regardless, never be afraid, to be honest about it—the only person you’d be hurting by covering it is you.
2.They might not be as emotionally mature as you.
To put it clearly and nicely, some people, especially young people, have a lot of kinks to work out in the maturity arena. If you’re thinking about taking things with a younger person beyond a casual fling, get an early gauge on whether they can take accountability for their actions.
If they are lacking relationship history, no worries…but keep in mind that they might not be as adept at communicating their feelings or working through issues in an adult way.
Having said that, it’s okay if the younger person is given room to grow but Paulette Sherman, Ph.D., notes, avoid creating an uneven power dynamic, where you’re the one always calling the shots.
3.You might be in different life stages.
You were born in different years and in some cases decades. But expect to feel a new dynamic with your young date compared with the one you might experience with whom you usually go for.
To get a better understanding of how mismatched you might be in this aspect, imagine what the vibe would be like hanging out with his friend group. Does the idea make you cringe because it’d feel like sophomore year of college?
Age alone doesn’t tell you how far along a person is in life, however, it is likely you have way different experiences and dating histories.
If you’re interested in a long-term relationship and not just fun sex, it’s not a bad idea to ask about where you’re both at in life and how you’ll fit into each other. Ask about where they see themselves in the next two years to get a clear prospect.
4.Everyone has baggage—even the young heartthrob.
Since things that come up intensely in relationships stem from our childhood, the younger person you are dating isn’t off the hook when it comes to baggage.
Sure, you might be a hot divorcee with the ex, but the younger person has shit of their own, too.
The only difference is, the older person might need more time to work through some shit more than a younger person. All you need is to do yourself a favor and go to therapy.
5.Commitment might mean different things to you two.
Ah, the “C” word. Break out in hives yet? How you define commitment might be how a younger mate sees a fling and vice versa.
You might just desire to have fun and date around, however, the young hot eligible bachelor or bachelorette might want to start settling down. Or you could be the one who is ready for rings and babies while they’re…not interested.
It is vital to find where you guys align. It might not be what you need, but if you can agree on the present, the future can be very promising.
6.You don’t have to be the same, but you need to have things in common.
The larger the age gap, the harder it is to have things in common. The larger the age gap, the harder it is to have things in common.
Granted, this isn’t the end of the world. People bring several different things to the relationship but you do want to be able to relate to your younger beau. Otherwise, it’s going to be very challenging to ever see them as your equal.
The key thing to consider is whether they can accept and support the core things that are key to you in a relationship. The other stuff can get sorted later over a bottle of wine.
7.You should ask yourself how you feel when you’re with this person.
If you struggle with confidence, dating someone younger could bring up feelings of insecurity. You need to feel empowered in the dating game, so ask yourself if you feel good when you’re with the young person and genuinely excited to spend more time with them.
Age gap dating can be rejuvenating and ignite an exciting spark that’s been bogged down by past drama. And you’re probably so over that. Be open and flexible to new experiences: Think cramming into a tiny music venue one night and exploring a new pocket of the city the next.
If you are connected, age won’t define your relationship. It is just another number in the numbers game that is this crazy world of modern dating. Start your age gap dating now!!!